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And I think this really allowed us to grow into the people that we were in a way that was incredibly different.I love him whole; pre-transition, now and in the future.We need to treat other people the way they want to be treated, which means we had to ask.I couldn't assume that the kind of love that Tiq needed was the same kind of love that I needed.Being queer and trans is about creating new ways of existing.It's about loving people as they are, not as they're supposed to be.I've been a lifelong traveler and a bit of an orphan, whereas he comes from a huge family, and definitely stays grounded.

TM: My mother's biggest concern when I transitioned was who was going to love me as I am.It took the rhythm out of my swagger, it threw me off balance, it pained me with every step I took forward.But today I'm a man of my own intention; a man of my own design. Cisgender means the gender I was assigned at birth is still and has always been female.And I was a heartbeat away from internalizing that message, that I wasn't worthy.But Kim said that I was her ideal — the heartbroken mess that I was. Both poets, writers, creatives with a long history of community work behind us, and big, huge dreams of a family in front of us, we shared a lot of things in common, but we were also incredibly different.

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